STOP PAS RECTIFICATION EXPERIMENTATION

Reversing Custody to "Alienated" Parents is Destroying Children!

Zachary and Jennifer Collins Before and After custody was reversed to their abusive father.

All over the United States family court judges are reversing custody to men who have been accused of abusing their own children!

In 1992 my brother and I were ripped out of our mothers arms and given to the man we identified as abusing us, our own father.

Even if the judge didn't believe our abuse allegations he NEVER should have ripped us away from a loving mother to rectify what my father claimed to be "Parental Alienation".

Being separated from our mother, having all contact with her severed and suddenly losing our primary parent undermined our ability to bond with anyone for the rest of our lives.

It is time to stop experimenting on innocent children. Ripping children away from mothers whom they are clearly bonded with is inhumane!

And just think... what are the consequences if these children are telling the truth of being abused?

Children Against Court Appointed Child Abuse ~ CA3

Holly Collins Presents at the 2011 Battered Mothers Custody Conference

"People Like Me"
I have been working for months on some sort of presentation that I could give today that would be unemotional and factual so I would be considered a valuable asset to this conference. Just a few days ago I learned that my attorney was able to make arrangements to be here as well and he reminded me “don’t be afraid to tell how you feel.” So the day before I left I was in panic searching through court files and old journals to try to find the words of what I was feeling and I came across this entry that I made when my children were actively being abused in 1994. It was right before I decided to rescue them and go on the run. It’s called “People Like Me”

My name is Holly Collins. I am a battered woman and I always thought that was DIRTY word and that ‘People Like Me’ are not special, social or likeable. Heck, we don’t even have the right to be. There is something about me that makes other people upset and makes them think that I owe them whatever they desire and demand. I wish I knew what was wrong with me and why I tend to bring out the worst in people.

I was severely abused as a child. The physical abuse was terrifying. The sexual abuse was debilitating. The verbal abuse was defeating. I don’t agree that verbal abuse is worse than the physical. It’s the beating that will kill a child. It’s the rape that scars forever. It all feeds each other. It’s the combination of terror, enforced by immense physical pain and unbelievable cruelty which influences the person I am today. I know I am responsible for whom I am supposed to be, but sometimes I also think that it’s just too late. I was only a little girl when I was told by my own parent “You are not lovable, hell you are not even likable.” And ‘People Like Me’ somehow believe it to be true.

When I was a kid I tried to escape the abuse in many ways, but somehow always ended up back in the hands of my abusive parents. When I was 17 I became pregnant and married a violent man. I thought that I was lucky to get away. Even though he beat me severely and put me in the hospital 3 times in the first month we were married, he still wasn’t as frightening as my parents. I was 17 years old, 5 months pregnant and I accepted that this was just the way life was for ‘People Like Me.’

My husband was in the military and we moved around. I never had the chance to make friends and I always thought that was because of the moves, but I realize it was because of his isolation. He made sure that I had no one except him. The abuse escalated to such severity that I am still ashamed to reveal. During one beating when I was 5 months pregnant, I fell to the floor and he started kicking me in the stomach. I knew that I should have stood up, but I just gave up at that point and I felt so guilty that I was not a good mother because I did not protect my unborn baby. I began to hemorrhage and when I got to the hospital, the ultrasound confirmed that my baby was dead.

My husband worked in the military hospital and his superiors were contacted because they suspected abuse. My husband was clever and calculating. Instead of curbing his abuse, he came up with this bizarre idea that I had a disease which caused spontaneous bruising. He would suddenly punch me in the face and then tell me it was for my own good so the doctors would realize that I had this disease and could they find a cure.

One night when my husband was beating me as usual, I just couldn’t keep my cries silent. I knew that I was being selfish, but I just didn’t want to risk dying alone that night. My 4 year old little boy came to my rescue and tried to protect me and his own father beat him so severely that he fractured his skull. Again I knew it was all my fault and that 'People Like Me' don’t even deserve to be a parent.

I sought the advice from our priest who told my husband that he had to move out and seek professional help. My husband hired an attorney who drafted papers giving him unsupervised visitation. That scared me more than anything so I took him back. Then the priest or doctors made a report to child protection. Child protection threatened me that if I didn’t leave then they would take the children away and I would be charged with “failure to protect.” Because 'People Like Me' are supposed to protect their children.

When I left for good, the case was transferred from Juvenile court to family court and right away the children were forced to go alone with him. I went child protection and begged for their help. I begged them: “I told you this is why I wouldn’t leave him. I told you… Now there is no one there to protect my children.” They just dismissed me that it wasn’t in their hands anymore and said that I needed to tell the judge, but the judge wouldn’t listen. Because 'People Like Me' make other people uncomfortable when we describe horrific abuse that no one wants to hear.

My children came home with bruises and stories of beatings and torture. My son blamed me many times “My dad hit me because of you. I got in trouble because of you...” No one would protect my children and I just couldn’t bear to send them alone with someone who was hurting them. I couldn’t believe what happened next. HE called the police claiming that he was the victim of a vengeful ex-wife. They would enter my home, pull my children out from underneath their beds and hand them to the man who was beating them. My daughter would cry so hard that she would throw up. Instead of confirming the children’s fears the police reports were used as evidence that I was uncooperative. And that is how 'People Like Me' find them selves at the mercy of their abusers again.

Even though the judge found that my ex-husband was abusive he was angry at me for my incomprehensible fear. I have the court transcripts of the judge actually saying “I’ve seen him and I’ve seen her. She was shaking like a scared little bird. I thought he had just beat her with a belt and then I find that they have been divorce for 2 years and that is not the behavior of a woman who has been divorced for 2 years”. And that is how 'People Like Me' loose custody of their children.

And now I have to admit that I don’t even know if there are any other 'People Like Me.' Society shuns me because 'People Like Me' do not loose their children unless they have done something terribly wrong. I keep trying to figure out what I did so wrong. It must be all my fault. My children are being abused and I can’t find a way to protect them. They look at me with such desperation and betrayal that I am the one person that should be helping them but I don’t.

I don’t know how to fix it but all I do know is that I can not stand by here and do nothing as my children also become 'People Like Me'.

The Real Glenn Sacks Part IV - Child Abuse Defender by Jennifer Collins

Jennifer Collins is a university student who is investigating the unethical men's columnist who has been harassing and virtually stalking her and her family. (Part 4)

Forced Marriage
Glenn Sacks writes “Growing up, of course, I had no idea how lucky I was to have a good, stable, two-parent family”1 but then Sacks contradicts himself saying that his father was never around when he was a kid. He had a father “who worked six days a week…12 hour days when my sister and I were toddlers.” According to Glenn this went on for 25 years.2 Sacks reminisces “When I was a child, my father always had two pictures on his desk. One was a picture of my little sister standing in front of the refrigerator. The other one was of me.”3 Does anyone find the absence of a photo of Glenn Sacks mother on her husband’s desk curiously prophetic?

Sacks acknowledges “However, like most couples, they sometimes fought, yelled, and clashed. I am eternally grateful that they always worked out their problems, as opposed to giving up.”4 In those days divorce wasn’t really an option. Given the disturbing views Glenn Sacks has about women I doubt that his parents were ideal role models.

I find it particularly frightening that Glenn Sacks wants to force women to remain in marriages against their will. In his article “Can Abolishing Sole Custody Curb Divorce?” he advocates that by threatening the mother's possible of her loss of her children then "that problem is solved”.5

Keeping a failed marriage together - how does that work exactly? Enduring a failing marriage where both parents are obviously unhappy is the example you want to set for your daughters and sons? Isn't it easier and healthier for all involved to say "Hey, it didn't work out but as the mother of my children, I'll respect you and agree that a future together is probably not in everyone's best interests" then each parent has the ability to be happy again and happy parents = happy children.

Sacks admits that in most cases joint custody won’t work and is merely a threat to force women to remain in an abusive marriage. “The presumption of joint physical custody may even serve to keep some marriages together…. keeping marriages together should be a national priority. Changing the way custody is determined is the first step.”6 What if there is domestic violence involved? What then??? I assume Glenn Sacks is all for forcing battered women to remain subservient to their abusive husband. There is no way this could be in the best interest of children!

Minimizing Domestic Violence
Even though Glenn Sacks has admitted that he is a stay at home dad he claims that he knows best and “It's not true that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to adult women.”7 Sacks continues to promotes his own agenda “Since October is ‘Domestic Violence Awareness Month’, I'll mark the occasion by examining four of the most prevalent feminist myths about violence in families.”8

Sacks continues to whine “men often get the short end of the stick on child custody, for example. They can easily be falsely accused of rape or domestic violence, they can be slapped with false paternity suits, and they have little recourse to law when ex-spouses interfere with their child visitation rights,”9

I can’t believe that Sacks claims that “Roughly half of all violent heterosexual relationships are mutually abusive, and domestic violence rates between men and women are comparable from small violence to serious violence, including murder.”10

Sacks spends way too much time and energy trying to debunk what he calls "myths" about men's behavior and by doing so he undermines the efforts to raise awareness about domestic violence.

Blaming the Victim
Glenn Sacks: “Legislation like the liberal feminist created Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) continue to perpetuate the myth that all men, by the their nature, are likely to become violent aggressors. In the meantime, American men are paying the price.”11 There are those words again – "All Men." All I can say is ->Projection!

Glenn Sacks consistently tries to rationalize the use of violence against women: “the most likely to result in future injury to women is when she initiates violence against him and he responds.”12 Sacks offers a bizarre suggestion on how to solve the problem of domestic violence: “In our PC/anti-male culture it needs to be said–the best way for a woman to avoid being hit by her male partner is to…not hit her male partner.”13

This is the typical ploy of an abuser! They attack women and when the woman tries to defend herself by pushing the man away, he claims that he’s also a victim of Domestic Violence! Protecting yourself from being abused is called self-defense that’s actually an instinctual response to being attacked – it’s NOT Domestic Violence!

Do Not Arrest Batterers
Glenn Sacks is openly against going after wife beaters because it might hurt a father’s outcome in custody disputes. “Since Maine family courts must consider evidence of domestic violence in determining child custody, an officer's decision on who to arrest can often determine who will get custody of the couple's children after the couple divorces or separates.”14 It’s simple Glenn - Arrest the one who is doing the abusing!

Glenn Sacks always manages to find some conspiracy in arresting a batterer: “Under the predominant aggressor doctrine, when police officers respond to a domestic disturbance call, they are instructed not to focus on who attacked whom and who inflicted the injuries, but instead consider different factors which will almost always weigh against men. These factors include: comparable size; comparable strength; the person allegedly least likely to be afraid; who has access to or control of family resources (i.e., who makes more money); and others. Given these factors, it is very difficult for officers to arrest female offenders.”15

What planet are you living on Glenn??? Go to any police station, ask the head of the DV unit how many women are arrested for domestic violence each year and then report back to us about what you find (along with the number of the person we can call to ensure you’re not lying/making stuff up again). Go ahead, I’ll wait…

It is difficult to remain calm with these consistent outrageous comments from Glenn Sacks. Don’t other people see what he is trying to do here? Everyone knows that there are some really bad men out there who beat up their wives and children. We should get them out of the home and away from their victims. The only men who have to worry about this law are the men who beat up on their wives and children. Like my mother has told my older brothers “If you think a woman is baiting you then just walk away!”

Defending Wife Beaters
Even when a man has been found in a court of law to be an abuser, Glenn Sacks thinks that he knows better! Glenn Sacks writes: “Holly received a contusion of the nose in 1982 while in family play with Mark, which was not intentional but solely an accident.”16 How does Glenn Sacks know that my father ‘accidentally’ punched my mother in the face? Oh yes… because my father said that it was an accident and we all know that batterers “Never” lie!

This used to really upset me and it upset my mother when she was younger. Now several people have explained to me that my father has put himself in a very unfavorable position by abusing us in the first place. I guess I really can't expect him to openly admit that he beat up his young pregnant wife and his vulnerable little children.

Okay, but then why is this stranger Glenn Sacks trying to inject himself into our story and defend a man who has been found in a court of law to be an abuser? “Holly did suffer a nose injury from play wrestling with Mark in 1982.”17 Does Mr. Sacks honestly think this is a justification of abuse? Even my father admitted “The two broken noses occurred when we were first married in my parents house" It is almost humorous that my father describes how it happens: "I rolled over asleep in bed.”18

Sacks continues to excuse my father’s abuse of my mother: “Holly and Mark were play wrestling as they often did because Mark, even though small in stature, had been a successful wrestler.”19 Oh… Is that what Glenn Sacks is calling domestic violence now? – “Play Wrestling.” Even if one of the parties was not a willing participant! My father was captain of his wrestling team. He was state champion! What in the world was he doing “wrestling” with his 6 month pregnant wife and putting her in the hospital 3 times in one month? It is interesting to note that even my father admitted that this time he also put her in the hospital by hitting her in the face when he was in bed.

“During the custody trial, Holly Collins accused Mark Collins of dislocating her shoulder. However, family members assert that while growing up, Holly had a shoulder that would periodically pop out of joint.”20

Oh so now according to Glenn Sacks it’s okay for my father to dislocate my mother’s shoulder because one other time (when my mother was a little girl) her shoulder was dislocated by her abusive mother. Mr. Sacks please provide the medical records to support your claims!

Glenn Sacks ignores my father’s testimony that he is responsible for this injury to my mother. Attorney: "She mentioned an episode involving a dislocated shoulder. Do you recall that episode?" Mark Collins (my father) : "Yes I do." Attorney: "Would you tell the court what happened." Mark Collins: "Her shoulder was dislocated just fooling around. I don’t know how to explain this . we were wrestling.” 21

What is most troubling is that Glenn Sacks ignores the effects of witnessing this abuse is to young children. My father testified that my brother and I witnessed him dislocating our mother’s shoulder. Attorney: "The dislocated shoulder was a wrestling episode? Was anybody else present during that, do you remember?" Mark Collins: "Just the children."22 Can anyone imagine how terrifying this was on two young children to witness their father hurting their mother like that, to hear her screams of pain? Witnessing our father abusing our mother was extremely traumatizing!

Sacks then claims that “Because Mark made a pro se legal mistake and did not refute Holly's allegations many years later that it was a deliberate act, the District Court had to find domestic abuse”23 I am wondering if Glenn Sacks ever tells the truth. I have the court transcripts from the January 1991! My father, Mark Collins was represented by Attorney Thomas Racette.24 Attorney Racette was the one who questioned both my father and my mother about the abuse.

My father appealed the lower courts finding that he abused our mother yet the appellate court upheld the finding. Again Glenn Sacks blatantly lies and states “for technical reasons the Appellate Court could not reverse the lower court's decision.”25

I don’t know how Glenn Sacks can get away with his blatant lies. The appellate court found that even though my father didn’t follow proper procedures during the appeal they considered his appeal anyway and upheld the findings of domestic abuse. “Finally father argues that the district court erred by finding that there had been domestic abuse between the parties. This issue is not properly before this court because respondent filed no notice of review with this court. Notwithstanding this procedural defect, we conclude that the district courts findings of domestic abuse have a factual basis in the records. Therefore it cannot be said that the district court clearly erred in finding that domestic abuse occurred between the parties.” 26

The district court found domestic violence! The appellate court found domestic violence! My father admitted to hitting my mother! My father admitted to breaking my mother's nose on more than one occasion. My father admitted to dislocating her shoulder in front of us children. Why does Glenn Sacks still defend this monster? Because his PAS claims go out the window in our very case!

Defending Child Sex Abusers
Glenn Sacks “I remember I had a guy I talked to before on the show who CPS came, they investigated, what I guess was his step daughter and I remember him describing this horrendously invasive examinations they do on the little girl, supposedly to tell if they have been molested. I mean, just listening to this I thought if somebody ever tried to do this to my girl I'd blow his head off.” 27

Can you believe this??? And what if Mr. & Mrs. Sacks get divorced and his little girl confides in him that his ex-wife’s new boyfriend sexually abused her? What would Sacks do then? Glenn Sacks publicly proclaims that he would kill the doctor trying to determine if his daughter was sexually abused!

So let’s get this straight: any guy can just go ahead and have sex with his step-daughter but if the child finds the courage to tell her mother then the mother is at fault for trying to protect her child and the doctor’s at fault for confirming the abuse??? So everyone’s at fault here but the child sex abuser?

What I really don’t get in all these cases is how the protective parent is interrogated, investigated and put on trial. The protective parent’s not making this up – all they’re doing is relaying what the child told them to the proper authorities – isn’t that so much better then taking the law into your own hands and blowing someone’s head off?

Attacking Protective Parents
When a child reveals to his/her mother that she has been hurt the most natural and logical step is to immediately seek medical treatment. Glenn Sacks finds fault with that as well. What would you do if your little girl (or boy) confided in you that someone hurt their ‘private parts’? Would you bring your child to the pediatrician or the emergency room if he/she reported that this physical (and psychological) trauma recently occurred? Any sane, responsible, protective parent would but NOT Mr. Glenn Sacks!

In an interview on his radio show Glenn Sacks attacks a mother for bringing her child to the emergency room when the child revealed to her mother that she was being sexually abused! What does Glenn Sacks have against mothers who are trying to protect their children from abuse?

Father’s attorney: “there were intrusive physical examinations that she took the children for and indeed the...They were taken to the emergency room by (the mother) and indeed her testimony was that one of them had been molested, but she took both of them for intrusive vaginal examinations”

Glenn Sacks: “So, in order to set up this whole con game against (the father,) she (the mother) was willing to drag her little girls, who must have been three or four at the time. To take them to the emergency room so some stranger could... I'm not even going to describe it. And that's a fit mother?”28

In an interview with Larry King the mother’s attorney made an important point “(The mother) made a good faith allegation of what she believed to be misconduct. She had a duty under New York state law to report that. If this decision stands, it will be a chilling effect on the country. Parents will not file good faith allegations of abuse.”29

Larry King: “For fear of losing their children.”

God forbid that parents stop trying to protect their children from abuse because they have learned by example that if they bring up allegations of child abuse to the family court, their children will be removed and given directly to the abuser.

Even though the mother had custody and the father lived clear across the country and had little contact with the twin girls, when one of the children revealed that she was being sexually abused by her father, the mother took her to the emergency room, the father had custody reversed, but in the end the appellate court returned the girls to the mother because they concluded that the mother was a good mother and according to the mother’s attorney: “the parental relationship with a child is a fundamental right as guaranteed by the United States Constitution.”30

This principal helped correct a wrong in this case but in general I disagree that a parent good or bad have a constitutional right to their children. This right of parents should not be placed above the right of safety for children.

Defending Child Rapists
Sacks: “According to a study conducted in New York state, 75% of child sexual abuse accusations made during custody battles were shown to be unfounded or unsubstantiated.”31 Sacks further quotes unsubstantiated studies to claim that “the vast majority of accusations of child sexual abuse made during custody battles are false, unfounded or unsubstantiated.”32

Quite often Sacks links a legitimate concern with something vague that misrepresents and/or skews the statistical results. This is a tactic batterers use all the time against their victims: they tell a story with a smidgen or hint of fact but the rest is all batter-chatter so the truth becomes lost in a sea of rhetoric. Sacks continues to misrepresent the good intentions of organizations which are trying to end domestic violence by promoting his bogus assertions that the world is against ALL MEN. Glenn Sacks contends that because some men are accused of (or even found guilty of) raping women and children AND that fathers are men then the world is accusing ALL MEN and ALL fathers of being rapists. It sounds like PROJECTION there again – Glenn!

When a 14 year-old girl came forward reporting that a 39 year-old sportsman had raped her when she was 11, Sacks said he “became interested in the case... He said he has spoken with (the suspect) and has gone over the case… He (the suspect) had moved out in June and the rapes supposedly happened between September 1 and October 1”33

OMG! This is exactly the faulty and unscientific line of reasoning that Glenn Sacks used with ME and my brother to try to “prove” his warped idea that we weren’t abused by my father! Sacks came to the conclusion that my father couldn’t have fractured my brother’s skull after I made a typo where I inadvertently documented the incident as happening 10 years later it was when I was reprinting the story. When I first came forward about the abuse I suffered as a child, I found it very difficult and emotional. Then to have this bully, Glenn Sacks attack me and say that I was not telling the truth was even more hurtful. Can you imagine how devastating this must have been for a traumatized teenage girl? She should be praised for the courage it took for her to come forward, not to be chastised in a men’s tabloid by a stranger who knows nothing of this case.

Sacks: “there is no record of the girl seeking medical attention after the alleged rapes. This is very suspicious -- Hopkins is a large adult, and it is hard to believe that a large adult male could forcibly rape an 11-year-old girl without there being substantial injury to the girl.”34

According to Glenn Sacks a child rape victim is damned whether or not they seek medical treatment. Women hater Glenn Sacks has spoken! Now let’s see what the REAL experts have to say:

- One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.

- Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives.35

- The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.

If grown women have difficulties coming forward when they have been raped it is understandable that an 11 year old girl would find it even more difficult! So who do you find more credible on the issue of rape? Glenn Sacks, a man who sits in his wife’s home spewing out his hatred for women or the FBI and Department of Justice?

Defending Child Abusers
Sacks tried to prove that my father couldn’t have fractured my brother’s skull because I made a typo where I inadvertently documented the incident as happening 10 years later when I was reprinting the story.

Regarding our case Sacks writes: “There are a few obvious problems with what Jennifer wrote.” Then he quotes my mistakes: “The amusement park accident was in 1996...” And “My father beat up my brother and my mother in July 1997. That is when he broke the bone in my brother’s skull!” 36

First of all I have to admit that I made a mistake in typing – the amusement park accident was in 1986 (not 1996) and my father beat up my brother and mother in 1987 (not 1997). Everyone in their right mind can see that I made a mistake, even Glenn Sacks. He leaped on this typo to try to prove that I was dishonest.

Sacks: “Jennifer's claim that "My father beat up my brother and my mother in July 1997" is not possible. It's not a typo, since the 1997 date jibes with the rest of the post--in fact, it's one of the main points of the post”37

Mr. Sacks quotes legal documentation and tries to bring attention that my mistake couldn’t have been a typo. Gee… what would make you even point that out Mr. Sacks - Projection? What is strange is how Mr. Sacks then prints what he calls the ‘main points of the post’ which clearly proves that the very amusement park ride accident (that I was referring to) occurred in 1986.

Glenn Sacks: “the legal settlement between the Park and Holly over Zachary's injury dated 10/15/90 states: ‘[O]n or about May 10, 1986, the plaintiff Holly Collins and her minor child Zachary were at the Canobie Lake amusement park...Zachary Collins was injured while riding on a 'kiddie ride' identified as the 'junior turnpikes sports car' ride.’”38

We are talking about the same incident! Glenn Sacks himself proved my case for me. Anyone in their right mind can see that I made a typo! I really came down hard on myself for making such a stupid mistake. I had all the documents right there in front of me and I somehow got stuck in the wrong decade. However THIS is a typical example to demonstrate how Glenn Sacks is manipulative, dishonest and all too eager to twist the facts to try to prove that victims are not to be trusted. It is Glenn Sacks who can not be trusted!

Minimizing Child Abuse
One of the major faults of Glenn Sacks is that he fails to acknowledge how severe the abuse to me and my brother were. He is so worried that our case clearly demonstrates the fault in PAS that he will do anything to protect his money train.

There is so much damning evidence against our father. My father broke the bones in my brother’s skull! Why would anyone defend this monster? We aren’t children anymore. We can clearly account for what happened to us when we were little. It’s absurd that children’s cries for help are ignored because an adult is supposedly more credible. Do you really expect an abuser to come out and admit that he beats his wife and kids? You can’t ignore the words of that little boy. In my brothers own writing “my dad came running up the stairs and he punched me in the wall and threw me in my bed. My head hurt a lot and when my dad fell asleep my mom came in my bed with me. She said she was sorry and she wouldn’t let him hurt me anymore. My mom took me to the hospital and the doctor said that my head was broke.”39

There are medical records from this incident.











On Parental Alienation
Glenn Sacks: “Misguided women’s advocates assert that PA is a myth used by abusive fathers to blame their ex-wives when their children are hostile to them.”41

Parental Alienation is more then a myth; it’s been officially deemed and recognized as “junk science” by every reputable scientific source that has taken a look into it. Even if Parental Alienation did exist the “father” of PAS himself, Richard Gardner, acknowledged that victims of abuse would rightfully fear their abusers and would act justifiably so. Explaining the fear a victim has towards their abuser is a no-brainer, NOT “parental alienation”!

“The complaint claims that American courts victimize abused mothers by ‘frequently awarding child custody to abusers’.”42

Once again, the truth of the matter is: “Fathers who batter the mothers of their children, are twice as likely to seek sole custody of their children”.43 “Despite the perception that mothers always win custody cases, studies show that fathers who contest custody win sole or joint custody in 40 to 70% of cases.”44

I am loosing my patience when I read Sacks garbage. “In reality, when domestic violence allegations are made, judges take them very seriously, preferring to "err on the side of caution" even when evidence is lacking. By contrast, fathers who are targets of false accusations and parental alienation can only protect their relationships with their children by financing expensive legal battles”.45

Look at my mother’s case! Judge Michael Davis found that my father was abusive but actually said to my mother “It’s about time you get over the abuse!”

Google a few of the following cases to see for yourself how attentive and responsive judges are to the issue of domestic violence!: Cassandra Hasonovic, Katie Tagle, Venetta Benjamin, Dawn Axsom, Laura Taft and Alissa Blanton.

There are too many other cases to list, but take a look at the stories of numerous women at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference:

Index
1 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1554
2 http://www.glennsacks.com/blog/?page_id=1008
3 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1554
4http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1554
5 http://www.glennsacks.com/replacing_sole_custody.htm
6 http://www.glennsacks.com/replacing_sole_custody.htm
7http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1860
8http://www.glennsacks.com/4_feminists_myths.htm
9 http://www.glennsacks.com/4_feminists_myths.htm
10 http://www.glennsacks.com/4_feminists_myths.htm
11 http://abusegate.mensnewsdaily.com/2010/02/11/more-bad-press-for-maines-predominant-aggressor-policy/
12 070609 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glenn-sacks/researcher-says-womens-in_b_222746.html
13 022509 http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=1784
14 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=987
15 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1033
16http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
17 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
18 File No. DA157327 court transcript 06/07/1989 pg 5
19 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
20 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
21 File NO. DA171721 court transcript 01/08/1991pg26
22 File NO. DA171721 court transcript 01/08/1991 pg 36
23 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
24 File NO. DA171721 court transcript 01/08/1991 pg 1
25 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265
26 Appellate court decision Collins vs Collins 1994
27 04/03/05 http://www.glennsacks.com/enewsletters/enews_4_7_05.htm”
28 http://www.glennsacks.com/enewsletters/enews_4_7_05.htm
29 http://www.judicialaccountability.org/marksonlarryking.htm
30 http://www.judicialaccountability.org/marksonlarryking.htm
31(6/5/03). http://www.glennsacks.com/many_divorced_fathers.htm
32 http://www.glennsacks.com/ruling_in_highprofile.htm
33 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3220
34 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3220
35 Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)
36 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4057
37 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4057
38 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4057
39written letter from Zachary1994
40 x-ray report Minneapolis children’s hospital 1987
41 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=821
42 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=821
43 Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Forceon Violence and the Family, Violence and the Family 40 (1996).
44 Bowker, Arbitell & McFerron, “On the Relationship Between Wife Beating and Child Abuse,” in Yillo & Gofrad, eds., Feminist Perspectives on Wife Abuse 158, 162 (1998).
45 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=821

Introduction to Domestic Violence by Proxy

By Dara Carlin, M.A.
Domestic Violence Survivor Advocate

Have you ever taken a chance in your life? Has anyone ever assured you of something and then reneged once you held up your end of the bargain? Have you ever been completely betrayed and abandoned by someone you trusted? If you've experienced even one of these, then you have a little idea of what it feels like to be a victim of domestic violence fleeing her abuser with her children. But what do you think happens to those women and children who've escaped an abusive home? They'd probably go to a shelter first, then maybe get some counseling, then divorced, right? What do you think happens to her abuser in the meantime? If he's not court-ordered into therapy or management classes (chances are he's not going to go voluntarily) and even if he did go he'd have to genuinely want to change his ways and take responsibility for the harm he's inflicted on his family. For abusers, this is a tall order and one they're not likely to take because "no one's making HER responsible for anything that happened".

With child custody and visitation issues however, SHE is made as responsible as HIM and the perpetrators just love this set-up; the focus of the court is no longer on the domestic violence that occurred (reasoning that "no marriage = no domestic violence") but is on "the best interests of the child". If the perpetrator hasn't changed his abusive behavior towards his ex-wife and children (and why would he want to change something that works so well for him?) then nothing's changed - the risk for violence and abuse remain - the only thing that's different now is marital status and living arrangements. For many women, this time is more dangerous for them and their children because when the batterer feels that he is losing control he becomes desperate. If he can not access his ex-wife/girlfriend then he knows that the next best thing is to "get to" her through the children and all too often he finds this to be more productive and more entertaining for him. After all, what's the best way to hurt a mother? Through her children!!! Dr. Alina Patterson described the “specific tactics used by abusive individuals to continue controlling their victims after they are no longer present” as Domestic Violence by Proxy.

What is Domestic Violence by Proxy? Simply put, it's the extension of domestic violence beyond the termination of the marriage and/or family. Prior to this, divorced abusers would allege "Parental Alienation" when their ex-wives would report their ongoing abuse or newly initiated abuse against the children to authorities or the family court. “She won’t allow me to see my children! She's turning the kids against me - look, they're even afraid of me! She is alienating me from my children and cutting me out of their lives! All I want to do is be a father to my children.”


The perpetrator's declarations of "Parental Alienation" work like magic for him: his abusive behaviors towards his ex, the children and his court order violations are ignored while the focus becomes the investigation into confirming the mother's use of "Parental Alienation" against him. Many legal and therapeutic professionals think “Ah ha… I have seen this definition before” and comfortingly attribute all the post-decree drama to the bogus "diagnosis" of PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) missing the real diagnosis of Domestic Violence by Proxy as described by Dr. Joyanna Silberg, “A batterer with a history of using domestic violence or intimidation uses the child as a substitute when he no longer has access to his victim, the former partner”. Practitioners and service providers take notice: Domestic Violence by Proxy is just as insidious, damaging and potentially life-threatening as domestic violence is!

The smoke screen of PAS was introduced in 1985 by Richard Gardner, a man who openly condoned adult and parental sex with young children. Many of these children who were victims of this flimsy hypothesis are now coming of age and have horrendous stories of abuse. Not only were they tortured at the hands of their own parent but they were further betrayed by the justice system who assigned "supervisors" to ensure their protection from harm.

Jennifer Collins, a young advocate who has survived her father’s severe life threatening abuse as well as the court’s appointed (child) abuse, has researched PAS thoroughly. Jennifer has written an interesting article from a child’s point of view entitled "Clarity on the Parental Alienation Debate From a Child Who Lived Through It" and has also started her own organization CA3 to help children of abuse find their voice like she did. Way to go Jennifer!

Domestic Violence by Proxy Dr. Joyanna Silberg

Why Terrorist Tactics Employed by Batterers Are Not "PAS"
Leadership Council
September 16, 2009

As more and more abused women lose custody to batterers in family courts, they are wrongly embracing the very ideas that enabled their abusers to gain custody in the first place. False accusations of “parental alienation" are often used by batterers to gain custody and to defend against accusations of abuse.

Some unfortunate women after years of enduring domestic violence have lost custody to the batterers who abused them. In these cases, batterers have made good on their threat to attack their ex-partner in the place she is the most vulnerable—by taking her children away from her. After separation, these batterers continue to wage their campaign of manipulation and abuse by attempting to convince involved children that their mothers never loved them. Looking for a way to describe their batterers' behavior, some mothers have called what their batterer is doing "parental alienation syndrome."

In reality, what these women are describing from their ex-partners is better termed Domestic Violence by Proxy (DV by Proxy), a term first used by Alina Patterson, author of Health and Healing. DV by Proxy refers to a pattern of behavior which is a parent with a history of using domestic violence or intimidation, uses a child as a substitute when he no longer has access to his former partner. Calling this behavior “parental alienation” is not strong enough to convey the criminal pattern of terroristic behaviors employed by batterers.

When his victim leaves him, batterers often recognize that the most expedient way to continue to hurt his partner is to assert his legal rights to control her access to their children. By gaining control of the children, an abusive male now has a powerful tool which allows him to continue to stalk, harass and batter an ex-partner even when he has no direct access to her. Moreover, by emotionally torturing the child and severing the bond between children and their mother, he is able to hurt his intended victim -- the mother -- in a way she cannot resist.

DV by Proxy includes tactics such as: threats of harm to children if they display a positive bond to the mother, destroying favored possessions given by the mother, and emotional torture (for example, telling the child the mother hates them, wanted an abortion, and is not coming to get them because they are unloved).

DV by Proxy may also include coaching the child to make false allegations regarding their mother's behavior and harming or punishing the child for not complying. DV by Proxy perpetrators may also create fraudulent documents to defraud the court in order to prevent the mother from gaining custody. Whether or not the child is biologically related to them is irrelevant to perpetrators of DV by Proxy. The perpetrator's main motivation is to hurt his ex; whether or not his own child is harmed in the process is irrelevant to him.

This is very different from "parental alienation syndrome" as described by the late Richard A. Gardner. Dr. Gardner described PAS as an internal process by which a child aligns themselves with a preferred parent to protect themselves from the divorce conflict. “PAS” is conceptualized as a psychological process of identification with a parent who, according to the theory, encourages this identification at the expense of the other parent.

PAS inducing parents, according to Gardner, are often unconscious of what they are doing to encourage the identification. In contrast, perpetrators of DV by Proxy are very conscious of what they are doing. Controlling, coercive, illegal acts often done by abusive and controlling people, usually men, are not subtle, and do not encourage an identification with a parent. Criminal, fraudulent, coercive acts are visible and obvious. These behaviors encourage compliance by threats and fear. Behaviors involved in DV by Proxy are deliberate and often illegal. These behaviors include: battery, destruction of property, locking children in rooms to prevent them from calling parents, falsifying documents, along with other similar overt behaviors.

The most dangerous aspect of Gardner's PAS theory is that that the alienating parent's behavior is theorized to be so subtle as to be unobservable. In other words, the behaviors that are supposed to cause the alienation are assumed to be happening without any proof that they have actually occured. As many women have discovered this makes a charge of "alienation" almost impossible to defend against.

While Gardner's theories regarding PAS have been shown to be overly general and have not been supported by careful research, behaviors seen in DV by Proxy can be readily observed. Behaviors involved in DV by Proxy are deliberate and planned; many are illegal, and if the child is given the freedom to talk, will be described in great detail by the child.

If the child's formerly favorable view of the victimized parent changes when exposed to tactics like this over time then it is more likely a form of "Stockholm Syndrome" or traumatic attachment to the abuser, rather than the alignment with one parent and negative reaction to the other that Gardner described as "alienation".

A recent and comprehensive article on PAS and its use in the court system, by Jennifer Hoult can be downloaded here.

For further information:

◦Are Protective Parents Losing Custody to Alleged Abusers? Evidence shows that women who raise concerns about family violence during custody litigation run the risk of losing their children.
◦Stopfamilyviolence.org: The people's voice for family peace. Stop Family Violence is a national grassroots organization with a mission to organize and amplify our nation's collective voice against family violence.
◦CA3 -Children Against Court Appointed Child Abuse
◦High-conflict divorce or stalking by way of family court? Massachusetts Family Law Journal, 2004. http://www.mincava.umn.edu/reports/linda.asp
◦Hoult, Jennifer. (Spring 2006). The Evidentiary Admissibility of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Science, Law, and Policy, Children's Legal Rights Journal, 26(1) pp. 1-61. (download PDF)

Glenn Sacks Willing Participant in Domestic Violence by Proxy Case by Jennifer Collins

Does anyone else notice that there is a 40 something year old fathers' rights guy named Glenn Sacks who keeps stalking ME and My Family? He has never met me or my mother but he represents the very man who beat us, kicked us and tortured us for years. I don’t know if Glenn Sacks is now acting alone or if he is still acting on behalf of our stalker/abuser, my father, Mark J Collins, Maple Grove, Minnesota.

Several different judges found that my father was abusive. My father admitted to beating up my mother and breaking her nose “2 or 3 times.” He admitted to strangling me and my brother when we were children and threatening to kill us all.

Glenn Sacks obsession with my mother is frightening. He keeps trying to convince people that I was not abused by my father. He keeps searching through my personal records, my doctor’s reports, our Court Sealed Files and even my mom’s child protection records from when she was molested as a little girl. He twists the evidence and post vicious lies about our family. My brother and I have asked him to leave us alone but he keeps harassing us to the point where it might be considered stalking. Glenn Sacks even goats me and publically dares us to sue him.

This is a typical approach of my father: when he couldn't beat my mother anymore, he resulted to Domestic Violence by Proxy and he physically abused me and my brother to hurt my mother. Now that he can't beat me and my brother anymore and can't get to our mother through us, he is using Glenn Sacks to try to continue to manipulate and control us.

I wonder how much my father is paying Glenn Sacks, bribing him or "donating" to him to defend his abuse of his ex-wife and children. Glenn Sacks certainly is guilty of being an accomplice to DVbP by participating in my father’s continued emotional abuse of us today.

In one of Sacks recent articles he talks about a American/Italian boy who told Italian authorities that his father was hurting him. The Italian government is protecting the little boy from his abusive American father. Glenn Sacks has decided to support another abusive father. Surprised? I'm not! Out of the blue at the end of an article that has nothing to do with me and my brother Glenn Sacks writes: "I've previously noted the similarities between this nightmarish case and the Holly Collins Prartental Kidnapping case--to learn more, click here."

Is this the only way this jerk can get people's attention to mention my name, a 24 year old college student who is desperately trying to heal from my father's abuse, in his articles? Glenn Sacks keeps capitalizing off of the pain and suffering of my family. I just want this jerk who is acting on behalf of my abusive father to leave me alone. Doesn't anyone else think that this is enough?

Can someone please stop these men from harassing me?

Jennifer Collins
Abused Daughter of:
Mark Jude Collins
9330 Juneau Ln N
Maple Grove, MN 55369-8300
(763) 420-6930