College student, Jennifer Collins investigates the columnist who has been virtually stalking her and her family. (Part 2)
Do not hate your father
Glenn sacks recalls a quote he heard years and years ago when he was in school. “Hate your fathers, not your mothers.” In Sacks’ article called “Hate My Father? No Ma'am!” He recalls another student saying --"don't blame us for what happened to women in the past--blame our fathers and grandfathers." Glenn Sacks states “I've ruminated darkly over those words many times,” 1
I agree with Sacks when he says “I dispute the idea that my father, and the fathers of his generation, who worked so hard to support their families… that they are somehow lesser, that it's OK to dismiss our fathers, denigrate our fathers, disregard our fathers, disrespect our fathers.” 2 I sincerely feel bad for his father and grandfather as well as my grandfathers and all the other men from their generation who endured such long hours of strenuous manual labor that prevented them from being with their families as much as they may have liked. It’s sad that Glenn so poignantly remembers his father never being around when he was a kid because he “worked six days a week…12 hour days when my sister and I were toddlers”3 According to Glenn this went on for 25 years.
Although Sacks laments his father’s absence, he shockingly disrespects his father’s efforts to support his family by commenting “nor did I appreciate my father's sacrifices, working long hours in order to provide for us” 4 yet goes on to staunchly defend him by describing him as a father “Who never once let me down?” Of his aging father, Glenn said he “recalls sadly… that he doesn't even remember what we looked like at that age, because he was rarely able to be home.”5 It was a different time in those days and Mr. Sacks Sr. was no different then the other men of his time who honorably worked such long hours to provide for their families. Where Glenn should be expressing pride for his father, he instead proclaims his ingratitude. In another article, Glenn Sacks admits “I told my dad that I thought he lived a pathetic existence and I did not understand why he had much will to live at all.” 6
Hate your Mother
I think that both mothers and fathers in general deserve the same respect, which is why I find it terribly frightening that Glenn Sacks promotes such hatred against women in article after article. I was even more perplexed when Sacks wrote “My mother almost died twice when I was very young” because life-threatening events usually lead us to self-reflection on the fragility of life and how important it is to treasure those that we love while we have them, but again, Sacks has his own take on this. Sacks appears to be unsympathetic towards his own mother for being ill when he was a child complaining “She was always plagued with health problems to one degree or another” 7 and while it is understandably difficult for a child to understand a parent’s illness, Glenn’s reflection on all of it remains focused on himself: “she was always there for me, which of course I did not fully appreciate at the time.” 8
I know what it’s like when your mother suffers from a life threatening illness; my own mother has undergone several operations, surgical procedures and even chemo therapy, but all of this has made her children gather around her and appreciate her that much more. Thankfully she is currently in remission, but if Glenn Sacks stays true to form, I’m sure he’ll find a way to twist her physical illness into some form of weakness or character flaw.
It's Okay to Hate Women
“I know that this was a world where many Americans were terribly mistreated--blacks, Latinos, some women, and often the working-class and the poor.” 9 I was surprised to read this since Glenn actually acknowledges the mistreatment of women in our society, but this momentary compassion doesn’t curtail his clear disdain for and resentment of women. Sacks continues to promote his hatred for women. “The only credit left for men is the military, and even this has been partially hijacked. We now speak of ‘the men and women who fought and died in our wars’ as if even one percent of our military casualties were ever suffered by women, or as if women were ever conscripted the way men were.”10 I just don’t understand how he can get away with his bigotry. I respect free speech but not inciting hatred.
Resentment Your Wives
With respect to my mom’s words of wisdom, don’t you feel bad for Glenn Sacks’ wife now? She appears to be trapped in an abusive marriage and it looks like there is no way out for her. Her own husband’s words demonstrate the hostility she faces in her own marriage. “While it's easy and popular to blame men, many of the wounds women bear from failed relationships and loneliness are self-inflicted.”11
Poor Mrs. Sacks must’ve been genuinely head-over-heels in love with Glenn because per her husband’s observation, her own instincts failed her on her wedding day: “A woman's discerning, critical nature doesn't disappear on her wedding day.”12 If only Mrs. Sacks’ knew then what I’m sure she’s learned the hard way by now! Glenn Sacks consistently undermines and devalues women in general, wives and mothers: "Fathers need to start parenting the way they want to parent. When they do there's no guarantee that the mother will go along with it, and that can cause problems, but men need to stop waiting for their wives' approval.”13
Care to guess what happens next when’s Sacks advice causes problems in a marriage? Where would you turn for help? - Marriage counseling? Nope, not in the Sacks household - Sacks is against marriage counseling because “Most marital problems and marriage counseling sessions revolve around why the wife is unhappy with her husband,”14 But how does Glenn know this? - From personal experience? Could Mrs. Sacks possibly be unhappy in her marriage? How could she possibly be happy being married to Glenn Sacks? Did they go to marriage counseling? If they did, it’s kind of obvious that the counselor must have sided with his wife (which is why Glenn Sacks tries to discredit the profession in general).
Stay At Home Dads
“People in general seem convinced that stay-at-home moms get a raw deal and work much harder than breadwinner dads… Having been a stay-at-home dad with two kids during the years when they need the most intensive care, I can tell you that this is nonsense.”15
First of all… Sacks should be honest in his self proclamations. When his wife returned to work (when her daughter was almost 2 months-old) Sacks 6 year-old son was already in school all day. Sacks continued to sing his own praises proudly boasting “Even though I’m just a guy, I actually figured out how to get my daughter in the car and get her to her doctor appointment.”16 This is supposed to be some kind of triumphant accomplishment? If it is so easy for Glenn Sacks to be home all day with his daughter, why in the world did he force his wife to work full time and attend law school in the evening?
Boys are not Stupid
Sacks: “I launched the campaign in December of 2003 after my then 11 year-old son saw a picture of the ‘Boys are Stupid’ shirts and asked me ‘Why are they always saying things like that about boys?’”17
It is pretty sad that Glenn Sacks’ 11 year-old son is made to feel so vulnerable and insecure but I guess it makes sense when his father is such a bully. “As the father of an 11 year-old boy this shirt makes my blood boil….degrading boys, insulting them, making our schools a hostile environment for them–we’re not taking it any more.”18 Glenn Sacks received a lot of criticism from men; telling him to lighten up and find a little bit of humor in life. Sacks responded "I'm sorry if I sound like a humorless zealot, but I just don't see the humor in it… My 11-year-old son, whatever the joke is, he just doesn't understand it, either."19
My little brothers are 11 & 9. My mother discussed this t-shirt slogan with them as well as the other controversial advertisements, both male and female (un)friendly. None of my younger siblings were disturbed. In fact they thought it was all rather humorous how ‘Americans appear to make a big deal out of everything.’
One of Glenn Sacks’ critics writes: “Glenn Sacks is stupid – throw rocks at him.” 20 Of course I don’t encourage anyone to throw rocks at anyone.
Even Sacks himself agrees there are more important issues than the impact of a T-shirt on boys' self-esteem, but why should that stop him? "I can't eliminate ... rap music that trashes women," he argues. "So I choose the battles I can win, and go from there."21 I just cannot comprehend this cowardly attitude from the father of a little girl – doesn’t HER self-esteem count too or is this only something his son needs to have?
Boys will be (bad) Boys
Poor Glenn admits “my wife and I have lain awake in bed many nights worrying about our son.” 22 Oh so now he pulls his wife into the equation to share the blame for their son’s behavior problems. It looks like the root of Sacks’ son is not from a poor tasting t-shirt but from being exposed to a dominating father.
I can’t believe that Glenn Sacks has the audacity to complain that his son’s teacher stopped working because she was having a baby! Glenn Sacks was also a teacher who quit his job, yet somehow this teacher putting her family first is the latest reason for his son’s behavioral problems? “Either way, she's probably finished as a top-drawer teacher. My son and countless others like him will suffer for it.” 23
At least she had a good reason: childbirth! Sacks quit for selfishly lame reasons, claiming that he didn’t like being a teacher because he was above grading his own papers. Then he claims it is because there are rules of procedure that “limits the amount of time they can spend planning and delivering creative, hands-on, boy-friendly lessons.” 24 He also mentioned that he didn’t like to be the sole breadwinner because “all the burdens of supporting children drained all of the pleasure of actually being with them.” 25
Rather then taking a look inward and figure out how best to help and support his son, Sacks just continues to blame the educational system: “Success in school is tightly correlated with the ability to sit still, be quiet, and complete work which is presented in a dull, assembly-line fashion… the methods and structure they employ are not suited to our sons' needs.”26
Sacks: “The vast majority of learning-disabled students are boys, as are students diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder… Boys also suffer from having few men in their lives. Modern schools, particularly at the elementary level, are often devoid of men except perhaps the janitor and the maintenance crew.” 27 If Glenn Sacks feel so strongly about the decline in male teachers then why did he quit his job in the first place? What I don’t understand is how his son can have all these behavioral problems when he has “the benefit” of having his father around ALL THE TIME.
“The dearth of male teachers--particularly at the elementary level, where female teachers outnumber male teachers six to one--is a problem for boys.”28 Glenn Sacks should stop his whining and do something about it then – he’s a teacher! If he is so worried about there not being enough male teachers then he should get a job and go back to work and allow his wife to share in the joy of her children that she’s been forced out of! (Bet you’d see his son’s behavioral problems disappear then too.)
Glenn Sacks was only home alone with his school age son from 3:30 to 5:00 and yet he had such a problem disciplining him. “We punish our sons when they "misbehave" (i.e., act like boys) because we want them to fit in and do well in school. Yet in the back of our minds--as we cajole, demand, offer, threaten, reward, and punish--we wonder, what is this doing to my little boy?’” 29 Looks like Glenn has found out himself first-hand.
“Many of our boys will have spent much of the day being scolded and punished, often for doing nothing more than being boys… each of these mistreated little boys…”30 I really can’t understand where Sacks is coming from. He blames female teachers for merely scolding his son for his bad behavior yet he supports and condones my father for throwing my brother into a wall (that fractured his skull) just for getting out of bed at night.
Sacks has created some legacy for his daughter: “I called my son's old school, which my daughter will now be attending, to ask a question. The women in the office all know me. My name is associated with discipline problems in class, inappropriate mischief on the yard, and calls home to dad. I hear the slight apprehension in the secretary's voice. ‘Don't worry, you won't have any problems this time,’ I tell her apologetically. ‘This is my daughter.’" 31
Push Girls out Windows
Glenn Sacks also has a daughter so what are his thoughts about being the father of an 12 year-old girl? Doesn’t his blood boil regarding all the sexist remarks and images about women we can’t get away from? Isn’t he afraid that some pervert might sexually abuse his precious daughter? I find it disturbing that he wasn’t offended and didn’t take any action against the t-shirt (made by the same company as the “boys are stupid” t-shirt by-the-way) that has a boy pushing a girl out of a window with the slogan “problem solved.” 32 He’s not offended in the least over a t-shirt made for little girls with the caption “Hooters girl in training” - he simply comments “this is one t-shirt my daughter can do without”33 The double standard pertaining to both of his children is beyond hypocrisy yet he’s going to continue judging the rest of us and OUR families?
Sacks complains about “boys' largely ignored struggles…. Girls get better grades than boys and are far more likely to graduate high school and go to college.” 34 So now girls studying hard, being intelligent and applying themselves is another unfair crime against boys? Mr. Sacks has such a distorted view of females, it’s worrisome. "Everyone always says girls in school suffer; they have low self-esteem; teachers make them feel second best, blah blah blah… But it's obvious that, in general, girls are doing better in school, and boys are falling behind." 35
Strong vs Abusive fathers
Sacks: "we've made a lot of fathers into wimps--not only have many fathers been driven out of their kids lives by the family courts, not only do we have many women deciding to have kids on their own, but the fathers who are in the home have become a lot weaker because we've made the idea of a strong father into a bad thing."36 There he goes projecting again! Is Glenn Sacks definition of a “wimp” a father who cares about his children so much that he puts their needs first? Ask ANY woman – we think it’s AWESOME that guys are now allowed to share their emotions - that has nothing to do with being weak! I think the real “wimps” are the bullies like my father and Glenn Sacks: losers who cannot stand up to other men so they beat down and beat up on women and children to feel more powerful.
If we take a look into the dynamics of the Sacks family we see that Mr. Sacks has said himself that he is in complete control of his family. His wife has little influence on the raising of the children. Glenn Sacks is solely responsible for the terrible damage he has caused to his vulnerable little boy.
My mother is raising 6 boys by herself and they are all wonderful, self-confident, kind & compassionate. Looks like Glenn Sacks could stand to use a few pointers from my mom.
Later on in the year Glenn Sacks started a protest against a innocent commercial in which basically portrays that kids know more about computers than parents these days. But Glenn Sacks is quick to distort the truth. First View the commercial.
Then hear how Glenn describes it: “A mother attempts to help her son with his homework, and fails. The son is annoyed with his mother's ignorance, and turns to his father with a look which says "obviously females can't do math--get her out of here." The father tells the mother to go wash the dishes. When she is slow to comply, he orders her away from her son, and then he yells at her. Is it a Public Service Announcement from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence?” 37
No that’s the add you just watched I don’t know… am I missing something here? I kind of thought it was how kids know more about computers that our parents. But of course Glenn has to make it into some sort of domestic violence conspiracy. Glenn Sacks has over 2000 listeners sending in protests to the ad. Glenn pats himself on the back for launching this protest. Glenn Sacks is bent out of shape claiming that the mother yelled at the poor father; “When he lingers, she shouts, “leave her alone. The dad walks away sheepishly… the “ad’s message is clear, and it’s a common one on the TV screen – dad is dumb, dad is useless, mom is smarter than dad, hell, even an eight year- old girl is smarter than dad.” 38
I have one thing to say… “projection.” Could it be that Glenn Sacks’ daughter was about this age and Glenn was resentful of his daughters’ intellect? Again… this is another example of Mr. Sacks’ projection. One may wonder why Glenn Sacks the father of a daughter (and son) choose to protest something that he considered an insult to his paternity but does not call his followers to act of something/anything regarding the outrage with child sexual abuse. Again… because Mr. Sacks can only think about what is good for Mr. Sacks.
In his defense Sacks claims “One ad would not elicit such fervent responses from so many men” but then he blows his credibility by claiming a conspiracy theory that “symptomatic of a larger problem in our society--the denigration of males in popular culture, and the decline of fatherhood.” 39
Sacks objects to more ads, claiming that there is a conspiracy theory out there against him. He tries to pull other men into his insecurity complex to make it an “Us versus Them” confrontation. A Pizza Hut spot… portrays a proud male who's just "prepared" dinner for his family—by ordering in from the Hut ‘Who says I can't cook?’ proclaims goofy dad”. T-Mobile's ad ‘26’ stars a father whose life skills do not include the ability to multiply 5 times 5.” iRobot Roomba vacuum features a wife complaining that her house is a mess" and nods at a donkey. Of course Sacks interpres it as a personal affront that what the woman is saying is representative of what all women are thinking: “my husband is a jackass.”40
Glenn Sacks refers to these ads as part of the “Dumbo Dad Ad Fad”41 conspiracy, where “dumping on dads persists.” Glenn Sacks is very disturbed.
American Conspiracy Against Men
Even in one of Glenn Sacks’ favorite movies he finds a conspiracy. “When Santorelli goes back to his childhood he is reunited with his mother, who died when he was about 12. The boy's bond with his mom is touching and sad, no question. However, Santorelli's father is not mentioned... I don't mean that he's not there — we're used to that. Normally when they want to depict an absent father they'll depict him as dead or, more commonly, as having run off... Santorelli's father is not referred to at all. A child not having a father has become so routine that the screenwriters don't even feel obligated to throw in a one sentence reference to dad and why he's not here.” 42
For goodness sakes did they mention his pet goldfish dying as well? This was a touching moment about a child dealing with his mothers’ death not about every other thing that went wrong in his life. Why does Glenn Sacks love this movie so much anyways? Is it because a woman dies?
Sacks: “this is an increasingly annoying feature of many modern movies…Toy Story (is) a couple of other examples. It seems particularly offensive here because, dammit, this is a baseball movie. Dads, boys, and baseball go together.”43 For goodness sakes if Glenn Sacks want to see single fathers and dead mothers he should go watch a Disney film. Can I claim to be traumatized from Bambi, Cinderella and Snow white?
Abuse of Power
Glenn Sacks is one sick puppy if he thinks that a good family film would be if he had it his way “Just once I'd like to see a kid in a mainstream movie casually say, "Oh, my dad's not around — mom divorced him and used family court machinations to drive him out of my life when I was younger."44 Did he miss “Kramer vs Kramer” and “Mrs. Doubtfire”??? (Or did Mr. Sacks conveniently overlook these movies for shock value in “making a statement”?)
It is truly heartbreaking that Glenn Sacks has been exploiting his wife since 2004 by making her work and attend law school at night while he sits at home. On top of that can you imagine this woman’s fears in her husband’s veiled threats?
“My wife is a successful career woman. She has moved up rapidly in a competitive field, and is advancing her career by attending law school at night. I work out of our home and I do most of the child care. If I decide I don't want her anymore, should I be able to move our kids 2,400 miles away from their mother?”45 What a mean, evil man!
Sacks disclaimer: “Of course, there will be no divorce in my home. Even if there were and I had the upper hand, I wouldn't dream of hurting my children by moving them far away from their mother and pushing her to the margins of their lives.”46 I don’t believe him for one minute and neither should you!
1 14/08/02www.glennsacks.com/blog/?page id+1008
3 04/08/02) http://www.glennsacks.com/blog/?page_id=1008
5 04/8/02). http://www.glennsacks.com/blog/?page_id=1008
10 04/8/02) http://www.glennsacks.com/blog/?page_id=1008
11 01/ 21/ 07 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1352
12 10/31/07 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1352
13 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=2316June 17th, 2008
14 10/31/07 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1352
15 05/04/09 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3685
16 05/04/09 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3685
17 02/0 4/ 04 http://www.glennsacks.com/why_i_launched.htm
19 01/29 /04 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4099643/
21 04/05 /04 http://www.vindy.com/news/2004/apr/05/boy-bashing-one-dj-fights-back/?print
23 5/27/01 http://www.glennsacks.com/why_im_no.htm
24 09/04/04 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?page_id=2457
25 18 01/10/02 www.glensacks.com/thepriceof.html
26 9 4 04 http://www.glennsacks.com/start_of_school.htm
28 9/12/04 http://www.glennsacks.com/start_of_school.htm
29 09/0 4/ 04 http://www.glennsacks.com/start_of_school.htm
30 09/ 06/ 02 http://www.glennsacks.com/the_boy_parent.htm
41 03/10 /08 http://www.glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1900
42 06/29/07 http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=845 at 5:05 pm
43 06/29/07 at 5:05 pm http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=845
44 06/29/07http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=845 at 5:05 pm
45 02/23/04 http://www.glennsacks.com/california_NOW_takes.htm
46 02/23/04(02/23/04 http://www.glennsacks.com/california_NOW_takes.htm