My father was
extremely abusive. “Abusive” meaning he beat me, kicked me, fractured my
brothers skull by repeatedly slamming him into a wall, beat our pregnant mother
so severely that he put her in the hospital several times during the first
month they were married. He testified in court that he broke her nose 3 times
and dislocated her shoulder while my brother and I watched in horror. There is
no doubt here! These are his very own words! He admitted it under oath and he
even told our family priest that he was beating my mother and my brother and
asked for help for his “anger problem.”
But something went so terribly wrong in the family court
room. The judge didn’t understand why my mother was still so afraid of our
father since they had been separated for two years. He admitted that he just
didn’t get why our mother was “shaking like a little bird.” He knew our father
was abusive. He found it in his order! Yet in open court he looked directly at
our young mother and said “It’s about time you get over the abuse!” Then he
reversed custody and handed us over to a known abuser. How is this possible?
The judge never spoke with me or my brother, yet his decision ruined our lives.
We were ripped out of
the arms of our loving mother and handed over to the man who was beating us! To
make it even worse we were denied all contact with our mother; no visits, no
phone calls, not even letters. We loved our mom so much and suddenly she was
just gone. Our inner core was shaken when our father told us that she didn’t
want us anymore. We were devastated and we are still haunted and damaged from
this trauma. The abuse continued. We told the guardian ad litem and other court
officers that our father was still hurting us. We even showed them the bruised,
but they covered it up. Eventually we were allowed to have supervised visits
with our mother. We begged her to rescue us and after 18 months and 8 days she did
just that.We fled the United States without any identification. During a layover in Amsterdam we were arrested for not having passports. We were put in jail together and at a hearing we were permitted to apply for refugee status. We spent 3 long years in refugee centers and the Immigration Department fought our request. They didn’t want to be inundated with American refugees. During our asylum hearing the tribunal of judges asked to speak with the children. This was the first time a judge ever met with us. They asked us exactly what happened to us in America and they listened to our answers.
We were granted
asylum and remained hidden and protected in The Netherlands for 17 years. The
FBI found us and when all kidnapping charges against our mother were dismissed,
we returned to the United States a little over a year ago. I am saddened to see
that the family court system is even worse. I have been contacted by hundreds
of children and battered mothers begging for my help. I don’t know how to help
them. I realize how lucky we were that a little country like Holland had the
nerve to stand up to the United States of America to protect two little kids
who weren’t protected in their own country. I will be forever grateful.
~ Jennifer Collins
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