October 1 2008 - Tips For Protective Parents

Dear Parent,

We have been saddened and infuriated by the overwhelming number of women who have been contacting us with similar horror stories of their children not being protected by the court.

We have composed this generic letter out of convenience and not a lack of concern. I hope you understand that we can not get involved with individual cases. We are not trained and we are still dealing with our own abuse issues.

Here are some tips for you to help yourself and your child:

The first thing you should do is gather all of your information together. Make an data base for yourself so you have all of the important information in one place:

Your Name
Your Date of Birth
Your Address
Name of your Children
Age & Date of Birth of your Children
The Father’s name
The Father’s Date of Birth
The Father’s Address
The State (and County) your Case is in
The Case number
The Names of Court officers involved.

Write a 3/4 pate summary of your case. (Keep it shorter than one page. Otherwise people will think it is too long and complicated and will not read it.) List the most important facts (as unemotional as possible.)

Describe a brief history.
Describe the abuse to your child (and yourself.)
Describe the documentation you have.
Describe the Court’s response.
Describe the current situation.
At the end of your summary shortly describe your emotions (as a mother) and what this situation is doing to you and your child.

Attach copies of photos/medical records, if you have them. If you don’t have them, go to the hospital/ doctor where your child was treated and ask for the medical records. Don’t let them intimidate you! They are legally obligated to provide you a copy! Make Copies of this summary and have them ready to distribute. (Do not send out your orriginal photos and medical records.)

Keep a journal! (Start today!) Keep a separate journal of the court issues. (Write your personal emotions in a separate journal.) It’s best not to tell the court that you have a journal without consulting an attorney. Otherwise they might be able to confiscate it as evidence.

Contact your State Coalition on Domestic Violence – and see what resources are available in their state. Some coalitions have good networks for this.


Please child protection a copy of your summary and a cover letter asking for help. Speak from your heart. (In your cover letter it is okay to be emotional.)

If you would like to send us a copy of your summary and cover letter, please address to mailto:childrenunderground@hotmail.com (for your own protection, please do not include your intefying information page.)

Please let us know if we have your permission to use it (anonymously) to gather stories together and approach higher up authorities to investigate problem Counties.

Please feel free to contact again for any reason.

We wish you the very best.
Jennifer & Holly

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